


Project Twilight

by Shellyyum



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:00:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5130266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shellyyum/pseuds/Shellyyum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine a retelling of Twilight in a better way. A more emotional and gripping way, and just overall better.</p><p>This is that story. </p><p>Previously: This is a retelling of Twilight by Me, the way it should have been written. Now Bella is a 17 year old girl that moves to Forks, Washington, and here she meets the vampire Edward: What will come out of it?</p><p>Oh Hiatus~~~~~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

She saw his head, she saw him there; She saw the person responsible lying so limply and vulnerable. The person that brought this trouble on her. But still she wasn't sure if he was pulling an act or merely was unconscious, so her pushes up were quieter than a mouse; and even more so when she stood shakily. Her hands wrapped together and her eyes adjusting to the dark.

She focused her sight on him.

_Him._

But she knew him.

She knew him from school but still the shock didn't die down. The shock that came from confession and from a very possible unreal thing. Maybe he was making it up or rather was truly out of his mind but still the things he did was impossible and very frightening. How could she explain it? How could she explain his unnatural strength or his durability; Surely she never met someone quite like him.

But it intrigued her, besides scaring; though she didn't want to get any closer. She didn't want to believe those flashing memories; the memories that fell off of her mind. The memories which were so inhuman and just surreal; so why had it happened? Why and how? She questioned herself and then tensed when he briefly shifted and still didn't wake.

Why had it happened?

Why was she dragged into this?

Surely she was a innocent victim but then again...

He didn't think of it like that; he didn't or why else would she be here in this dark without any reasons why?

Without any real reasons that were understandable; not his cock and bull story. The not so surreal nightmare that he played with; he couldn't be a vampire...a vampire..

he couldn't be one; they didn't look like him..

they weren't real either, but so much what he said stuck profoundly. So bold and glittering. SO how could she just ignore it? Just toss it aside? Maybe there was something to his claims...as it could explain everything; but still..it didn't explain this..not this.

Not this..

She held back a whimper as he stirred, finally sitting up.

"You." He said in a choked back voice, pointing lazily at her before breaking off. His eyes were fluttering else where and to another place. Maybe he was just as confused as her...maybe not..maybe.. But she knew him defintely;

He was the Cullen's boy.

Edward Cullen.

The neighborhood vampire...

The vampire that led her to die..the vampire..a unreal imaginarycreature; something out of a novel but it wasn't; it wasn't anything like she'd read. She was sure that she was going to die, sure that when he had the chance, he'd make her a vampire too.

Sure, more than anything...now that he was awake;

So she got ready by closing her eyes, waiting to feel his hot presence on her; sucking at her breath but none of that happened and she stayed in anxiety. "Yes me." She retorted back with a meek tone but it grew to some proportion ceasing only when he gained the ground.

"You're still alive."

"Of course.."

His back to her; the face hidden once again but she made no mistakes about this; made no admissions of guilt or fear; though the fear shone on her face. Sinking back and giving her the age before her time.

"Edward Cullen.."

"Yes...now..it's time that we got back to what was started.."

She shrunk back, now trying to gasp for so much air, intaking too much and struggling. Struggling before it began, or before it resumed. Before...she couldn't take it; she couldn't stand the image of him penetrating her flesh...of him over her..of him taking her very life. It couldn't go on. It couldn't but she couldn't do anything. Not anything at all. Not anything to fight a real life vampire..she a mere human couldn't do it..

She couldn't resist Edward Cullen.

 


	2. On The Right

It was ordinary for sure, but what could she expect? She was venturing far from where she was used to, to live with a father she barely saw; but it had been her decision, no doubt aggravated by her mother's new engagement.

A new change in life, something she couldn't handle at this point, something that she rather not think about. Something she rather forget; at least for the moment. But she made sure to look up at the passing buildings and see the scenery, for this was her home now. The home all her own. But would it be okay as she lived with her father? She didn't quite know the answer but lazily stuck her face out.

What was she seeing? People and the ordinary things that they did.

Then she stopped driving and parked in front of her new home; a one story house that looked quite shabby from the inside out but quite homely. A far cry from her previous home with her mom, whom she just referred as Renee to spite and discredit. But there was no homecoming except for her father, Charlie on the porch, smoking and breathing circles up and glancing surprised at her. How long had it been since they'd seen each other?

Millions of years ago?

Two years?

How long had it been since her mom was divorced..? The number just flew by her mind but it had been quite a long time if her mom just got the newly wedding jitters.

"Charlie- I mean dad, hey."

She met him halfway, stuck between words real and imagined. She hadn't much to say to him, nor could she really muster anything halfway decent. It was that relationship she was encountering. He was merely a perfect stranger except he was her dad, and that was suppose to count for something. At least biologically. But what about the other ways?

She hadn't got that far.

"You've grown." He said gruffly flickering out his ashes below his feet. The cigarette going after till its light died. But was that all he was going to say? "How old are you anyhow? I lost track.."

There wasn't anything familiar in those eyes, just some loneliness. What had her dad been doing since the divorce? Had he just run away and just forgotten all about her in his selfishness? She would call it that, because it was exactly that. He had shown that neglect that left such nagging in her, but she was determined to be happy here, to get to know him better and find some sort of stable ground. Some kind of feeling.

"I'm seventeen dad and it has been awhile. Anyhow, I'm going to get my things inside. Is my room ready for me?"

"Yes. Of course. It's been ready since you decided. Let me help you-" He huffed down the steps but she countered. "No, it's all right. I can do it myself and besides I don't want you to strain yourself-you're much older.."

But it was excuses and she couldn't bear the kind of decision she had made, it was then that she realized it. That she was _going_ to live here. That she'd have to deal with this man, she called father, and that there would be some kind of relationship if not already mending.

So instead of moving onward, she didn't do anything except breathe through her nose and try to play cool though it was failing and just underestimating her worth. Though he wasn't deterred and rushed passed heading for her truck, grabbing inside for her boxes and bags; knowing already what was to be done and what he could do. She just merely stood, hands in her jean pockets looking dumbly to the ground, and to her shoes. Her wore out black converses. But words came back when he was heading in a series of five trips up the stairs and into her new house. "I'll help you. It's my stuff and it shouldn't be one way.." Though she was struggling herself, she simply lifted what he couldn't and followed with the stuffy silence penetrating.

Inside was different and it yelled of a bachelor, not a father but she hoped that she could turn it around and make it suitable. Make it worthwhile and with the closing of the door, she started off to her room, the room that was her own…

"So ..?"

Bella picked up her head from the pillow, now focusing on her father. "So..do you like anything….oh what do teenagers like anyhow?" He asked wrestling in with his newspaper, hiding behind it. What was he trying to do? Anything ..?

Anything that was blocked?

"Charlie-dad, don't worry. We'll have the time to get to know each other. You can ask me all the questions later. I'm tired from the trip."

The trip from two states.

Now she was in Forks, Washington.

How in the hell..?

"So I rather get some sleep..we can talk later and don't try so hard.."

She added standing and strolling away to the background, opening the door of her room and peeking in to see the litter of brown boxes and black trash bags. She had a long days ahead of her..in terms of unpacking but she knew it. She chose this, she figured it would be the case. It was missing in her mind, missing in her heart but she snuck in and sat on her loopy bed.

What had she gotten herself in?

What had she done?

What had she done to deserve this?


	3. Vanilla

It was dark, and that was as far as she could see; so she stood up on her bed then sat. Something was troubling her and she couldn't seem to understand it. It was a dire mystery that probably needed to be solved but it wasn't going to be in this dark, so she just stayed quietly.

How far had it come to now?

How far was she going?

Was there a mistake in all this?

Tomorrow, she would be in the new school and to the mercy of strangers, of people roaming those halls waiting to pounce on her. Waiting to get her. But it hardly bothered her more than _this.._ She thoughts..maybe I can go back, maybe there is still time but there wasn't any time. Her choice was firm and besides, she would have ran away if she stayed anymore with her mother. It was a household and a lifetime away. A lifetime she wasn't willing to face right now. What teenager wanted to face it and just come back from it? She wasn't that type of girl, or that teenager.

She was much more selfish than that.

And before she knew it, the morning light invaded the twilight, and her wakefulness drifted away till she was left half awake and half dead at the sound of her alarm clock. Her hand pounding it off, and grudgingly putting on some jeans and a cardigan sweater, for it was a very cold time even if snow wasn't falling. Even if snow wouldn't.

"Bella are you up? I made some eggs.."

Hearing her father this early, made her jump slightly but tried to reassure herself, staring at her closed door.

Weighing her stomach, there wasn't much in there but neither was the desire to scarf up large plateful of food. She just wasn't hungry but knew that it would be an insult for her father made it; and it would be their first meal together, but still she preferred to skip it, but this was another household that she had to be mindful of, and so she had to accept with a warming smile. "Are you gonna come eat?" He asked pleasantly, probably afraid of rejection, but who wasn't? She certainly wasn't.

"I am dad, just a second, okay?"

Reassurance left her alone, and loneliness did find her and she fought very hard to suppress it but it kept coming to her surface. And once she left that room, it felt no better, and when she sat in front of that plate and to the hopeful smiling of her estranged dad, it was no better and would promise never to be.

Very stealthy, she picked up some of the watery eggs and ate even if it felt horrible to her, even if she really just hated eggs in the first place. (A/N: haha Sorry Ashe! Had to put that in =) ) But there was some delight in all this, and she quickly found it, but it wasn't in the conversation which was stalling and awkward. But it was, the fact he was trying so hard after all these years to make amends but it would take more than breakfast to change anything. It would take them both to come to a compromise.

"How do you like it?" He asked eagerly nearly coming out of his chair.

"It's good. When did you make this?"

"Early this morning. I knew that you like eggs..and breakfast is the most important meal of the day..so yeah. This of that as a homecoming thing or something.."

"Thanks dad-Charlie-I mean dad.." It was still odd on her tongue and just weird. It was going without saying..going without anything at all, yet it pleased him greatly and for now, she'd be the good daughter and obey all the rules for his sake. At least for _now._ At least now, and the conversation didn't go further than that, it wasn't allowed to it, and even when she was done, slinging her Mao Zedong (A/N: had to xD Maybe she's a communist? And yes I have one myself =) xD) messenger bag around, and slipping on her black flats, there wasn't much to say. He just stood there in his silly flower apron holding his own fork, staring and just dumbstruck.

She wasn't on the other hand, but unwillingly to search meaningfully.

"Goodbye dad. See you later."

"Have a good day at school.."

And the door swung behind, and even more it felt distance and out of reach, and even as she drove out of the driveway, she felt that she was leaving some where even farther, perhaps she was that distant star.

A star, light years away from human contact, a star all alone without someone there, without it's companion star. She was like the sun…so alone, holding so much together, and keeping her own world around her.

But it couldn't be helped, it was some kind of weird feeling in her..Some kind of longing but she carried it as she maneuvered around the small high school, around students walking to class and just lingering idiots. And even when she parked, she hesitated for a about a minute, breathing out of her nose, then her mouth. She was going to have to face school sometime, and this life of hers as well..

But had she come here for the wrong reasons?

Were they the wrong reasons?

Did she feel too trapped when she once lived? Too alone? Was she that lonely?

How could she, when she had multiples of friends at her beck and call, hanging around giving company..and lighting her face? But did that matter at the end?

Did it matter even if she had all those people if there was nothing in her heart?

Gathering some strength, she left the truck and wandered holding up her schedule and glancing at the empty halls. She was late, but…it was too confusing even in such a small high school. More than half of the rooms were numbered weird and most were grouped together by their subject taught, especially when it became the math hall or English hall. So she struggled to find it all, by herself, afraid that she might get in trouble on the very first day.

But how much trouble could she get in?

"Hey! **WATCH YOURSELF!"**

That loud voice was obnoxious to hear, and belonged to a pale, skinny, dark haired young boy, also holding up his schedule, but she thought..he couldn't possibly be talking to me. I hardly did anything but where were the other people then?

But what did she do?

What did she do?

"Excuse me?!" She briskly asked, not impressed by the boy, and just plainly annoyed before she got anywhere, and he seemed to be a trouble maker too which was worse... "What **ARE** you talking about?! And **WHAT** do you **MEAN** by **WATCH YOURSELF;** you should **WATCH** your own self, kid." She spat vehemently, but glancing suspiciously over her shoulders for oncoming teachers or administration. If they were caught, they would get the lecture from hell, and she wouldn't like that at all.

She wouldn't bear another lecture from any authority figure and would not listen or even make a get away from it, so she eyed the boy with contempt and anger. Apparently, he was trying to start something with her, and she refusing to bow to him. So she didn't bother to stare up to his face. He wasn't anything to look at anyhow..

"Yeah, and you shall excuse me, for I _have_ classes to go to."

She briefly walked off, but found the boy trailing which only infuriated her further till the only conclusion came. He was _stalking_ her. Trying to make her feel vulnerable and just plainly scared. Her steps quicken and he only ran to catch up, irritating her more and more by each passing second until she reached the upper stairs, now dashing to her English class, which was the first.

" **WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! LEAVE ME ALONE**!" She turned at once, fury in her face and eyes, screaming at this boy, and causing some doors to slightly open in the hallway, but he was persistent and didn't answer but rightly grinned making her wanna slap him across the face, as much as possible, for this game was getting too old already and she didn't have time to play with this demented boy..she had a life to go to, but he..he didn't have one..

"Coming to class, stupid."

" **WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, JERK**?!"

"I called you stupid. I called you stupid, and get over it. I would _never ever_ stalk anyone like you..besides you're too ugly anyhow..Now move out of the way stupid-"

" **OH NO YOU DON'T**!"

"Oh yes I do, so **GET** out of my **WAY**!" He shrieked, running ahead of her, now making her the prime instigator, and the one stopping him on his way to class. How _funny_ the roles changed like that..How fast too. How funny he was making her out to be the villain..

But she blocked the door in his general line of direction and was ready to battle it out…yet the doors were continuing to open more widely, no doubt their commotion was attracting curiosity. The kind of attention she wasn't seeking, though she rather finish it, it couldn't be done this way. She'd have to find another way, and with that in mind, she pushed herself out of the way, and the boy entered his classroom, and she was left in that vacant hall confused as ever.

Confused and aggravated.

 _Now_ this would be her life..now this would be.


	4. Chapter 4

It was just enough to make her mad, make her blood boil but hell it was enough that he did; Enough of the damage done that she wanted to forget it by lunchtime and how she rejoiced hearing the bell; rushing to the door first, ignoring the teacher and making her way through the crowded hallways. Her head ducking and her body moving around the mass of students, and barely making it in time down the stairs.

And it felt that much lonelier to her, much more secluded then what was to be believed. Though she couldn't understand it..she could seem to fathom why she had come through this way (as there were many many other ways she was sure to lead her to the lunch room, but due to traiffic, she had no choice but to follow) but she rather of not, because it meant facing these mad hungry grabbing students and trying to make it out to class in time afterwards.

But it was a lonely lunchroom, a lonely state of existence.

Loneliness but her only existence..the one she was used to but still she held it close and just hurried to the line which was quickly swirling around. She waited almost forever and when she did get food, it had the unsavory smell of leftovers and even then when she sat down (alone) she hardly had time to eat, so she just wolfed it; glancing at her watch and then sprinting when the bell signaled the end. But she felt some satisfaction when she entered her next class..the day was nearly over. Could she get through it without another incident?

Which was chemistry

ahh how she just loved to balance equations (A/N: like i do! but she hates it xD ) and pick around with random chemicals making probably still-worse off chemicals that could burn one's eyes out or kill; but she doubted anything really strong could be in here, since it was afterwards a high school chemistry class and today was a day for introductions, and already her hand was cramping. How much did she need to write down her name or her address? (Yeah..her home..)

It was pointless anyhow but she did it without being told; all her rebellious nature already out of her, ever since she decided to come here. Ever since she rather be here than with her mother's. And her mother's new husband (whatever he was anyhow..), the one guy that she didn't like...the one guy that had replaced her. She quietly tried to be good but her insides were bursting out, and these introductions were too long winded especially with rules and procedures joining on in. It never could keep her attention anyhow..so her eyes wandered and very sneakily spied on her fellow classmates, and then sudden revulsion sent it.

IT WAS HIM!

What the hell?!

What was he doing here..?

No..

He had the same class as her...oh good god..hopefully he wouldn't notice her, but he was bound to within the year...she could avoid him forever yet she willing to try...or else she'd knock his lights out..his earlier attitude not lost on her; nor could she forget it. It was a big scene that had her new fellow classmates and teacher questioning her and she had to stop and try to calm down, but it seemed like the damage was done; what could she do? Her outburst was insane and she began questioning herself. Could she get out of class alive?

could she not be noticed by him? Could she..? Was it possible?  
What could she do?

Run out like a crazed man woman? What could she do? Hopefully she still had time to switch out classes..she could hope that far. Hope that she wouldn't have to stay in this same class. She uttered a small sorry and shank in her seat, waiting for the rest of the period to go away. But all she could do was think of him..

and how she could get a million miles away..a million ways to kill him perhaps without being framed or found out..but it turned to nothing, as she had grown a bit soft and indecisive especially with a mind clouded. He didn't have to notice her..never see her..but she was sure he was going after her..after her..  
stupidity.  
yet her mind was clouded, and she couldn't seem to shake the clouds off and think clearly. But she knew what it was. She knew what befuddled her. She knew her mind was trapped somehow..in feelings.. was it her fault? Or was it all confusing her?

Her mind was clouded with feelings lost and detangled. Feelings that should of been reattached but waited as they stuck themselves in her at long last. Somehow there was something waiting for her, feelings, old memories around that corner. How could she get away from it? Could she? Could she get away from it all?

Could she run again if the time required it? Could she just bolt now and just blame her stomach? Yet she was just content to sit here and wait it out; why wait? He was surely going to pounce on her...when the time ended. How could she prevent this outcome? She was waiting for it..she was waiting to turn around and be attacked by him. It was sure to happen..

Though the worse could come and she'd end up in the principal's office, for hitting him if it came to that...

He annoyed her that much, especially since he was staring at her ominously and without any reason.  
Though she felt the weight of those gloomy eyes. It just annoyed her. He just annoyed her by being here in this same class. Was there anyway out of here?

Yet she couldn't afford another scene like the one in the English hall. It just didn't seem right and she didn't think she had much fight left in her.

He just took it away the first time..

How did that happen to her?  
How did she let him, do that to her? She didn't let her mother or that man of hers, or Charlie but she let this creepy boy do it. Why had she allowed it?

So she tried to brush off his eyes by moving her head several times, so it seemed like she could hide even pitifully. So she could do something, but by the end, she was scrambling out with her books, ignoring the teacher's words, only caring to escape.

And she didn't need to hear anything more nor think about it anymore. It was driving her crazy. Too crazy, that she ran back into the student parking lot and entered into her truck, shutting the doors and crouching inside. Her books thrown on the back seat and her breathing with pain. Pain she couldn't seem to understand. Breathing that wasn't hers'. What could she do?

How could she escape it?  
Could she just go back?  
Couldn't she just go back home?

Why did her mother want to get remarried? Why did her mother have to bring in that man? Why couldn't she just go back to her old life? Why couldn't she just go home..

But where was home now?

Was it with Charlie or…?

In that truck, she cried, cried until her eyes swarm with water, until she couldn't stand it and just stayed inside, missing the rest of her classes. Skipping until it made sense, but she doubted it could. She doubted it would ever make sense. Not with the creepy boy or with her home life.

It wouldn't be the same..

 


	5. A New Swan

It wasn't any better by dinner time as Charlie kept trying to get out of her how her day had been; and so unflinchingly she changed the subject hoping he'd get the drift but his renewed fatherly duties prompted him to keep asking. What could she say about it? It was terrible by compare, but she couldn't very well admit that; there was something to be gained in that day, that she hardly knew about. She just to think about it more. She just had to practice it more, day by day and maybe she wouldn't think of this day as terrible maybe something good.

But she had to deal with her dad's pestering and it wasn't a small feat, yet she had to for her sake to get through dinner. "Charl-I mean dad, can we please not talk about it?"

He stared at her, the fork falling on his plate and his mouth askew but it was a kind stare, a concerning one that she just couldn't stand. It seemed to be like hypocrisy almost as her own mother had done this before announcing her engagement. Before her mother had gotten the chance to say anything more, before and afterwards it was figured out.

"Why not Bella?"

"Because..Because.." She couldn't seem to say it, seem to say that she didn't want to spill her heart out right at the moment. It was getting annoying to her and just downright painful. How many more times was she going to do it till everyone was satisfied? How many times did she have to relive her hate for all change? Relive the sudden impulse to run far away? But if she did, where could she go? She wasn't in any single place that she knew of..here at least but if she had to, it wouldn't stop her. Nothing could stop the impulse..

"Because it's annoying dad."

"Did you have a bad day or something..sweetie..?"

"Maybe." She jabbed her fork in the salad and took a mouthful in before shoving the rest away. To her, the salad seemed to have lost all of its taste and she just wanted something else; but it was something else that she did want. Maybe a new life to start without changes or complications. Maybe a new one where she could be finally be happy but wasn't happiness just another state of mind..couldn't you be tricked into it? She must have been fooled herself before but this time, she wasn't going to get that far.

"Just don't worry about it.." She muttered excusing herself and running to her nearly finished room; the brown boxes and black bags had already gone to most of her dressers and her closet. And there on her bed, she sank in; her hands over her eyes. There was too much to worry about, too much, but how could she deal with it? It seemed unbelievable to her; so surreal that she'd be here of all places, that she couldn't accept such interesting possibilities as easily. Her hands scratched against her face and then she rested softly, breathing and then leaving it be. The stillness too much.

The stillness just too hard to grasp.

It wasn't like she could ignore what was going on in her own world..it wasn't like she could hide and she knew it herself. How long was she going to stay buried?

How long did she intend to deny?

Deny this was her life now?

How many more days would she go through this?

Maybe no one could hear her anymore, maybe…it was indeed empty..

Maybe life was too empty..maybe it was only her life..maybe she was trying too hard. Maybe everyone was trying too hard, maybe her dad or that boy never meant that harm but they harmed her, strumming deep chords in her. Strumming deep feelings that couldn't be reburied. And she had to have no regrets about any of this but she thought of herself streaked with tears, all brought in herself without a single reason. She thought of the stained windows and of her face and it was all regret. Just regret about so much.

How long could she stay here?

How long did she intend for it?

Then she buried her head, and just waited for something; almost sleeping upwards but snapping out of it afterwards when she heard unfamiliar scratching on her window. Usually she ignored or played it off as the tree branches hitting the window instead, but this strange sound had a kind of pattern to it and seemed to be continuous then stop on its own accord. Was someone outside her window?

Who could it be?

She didn't have any friends..not that she wanted to make any. They were bothersome especially when she didn't want to deal with their own problems. It wasn't worth it..not when she couldn't decide herself on anything. So who could be bothering her?

So who could it be?

Was it anyone..?

And would she get in trouble for opening the window and letting this stranger in? Would it be a bad stranger or something else behind that window? Did she have much choice? Would it be noticed if she had anyone come in? Would her dad even care? Would she even care at this point?

For the time being, her dad was pacing in front of her door and yet her heart heaved, and heaved with this pumped feeling, so much that she couldn't ignore and just wanted to tear everything down. Apparently this new noise hadn't attracted her father's attention, for he didn't give any indictiations of any sudden movements or changes in step. He was probably attempting to talk to her; though she didn't want to hear it. It was no use. And he apparently didn't try too far either for no words ever passed, and there was too much space between them; too much space between her and the world that her dad was trying to open for her. Why would she even go there now?

But Charlie..her dad would keep trying until he slowly gave up, and it seemed by his slowing steps..that it would be quite soon. Luckily she could investigate this noise more thoroughly..without him sticking his nose into anything..if it did turn dangerous….then she'd be out of luck but she was willing to take the risk. It intrigued her. It maybe could be something worthwhile then this life…then this life so far; maybe she could..?

So who could it be?

There were too many different possibilities and she hoped it could be someone that she knew but carefully tiptoeing to the window and glazing out briefly and pausing momentarily. It wasn't anyone she knew probably. Why did she believe it could be?

And could she do this? Was it in her to open the world to herself? Did she have any choice in that now, by living out here in a small town? NO..she couldn't do it. She wouldn't for the sake of her fragile heart. What could be waiting in that world?

And so if there weren't any choices…then where could she turn to?

So was there any or was she merely exaggerating?

Was there any?

Maybe there was to some sane person but she didn't believe herself to be sane..not after all the crazy stunts she did; but surely she shouldn't be afraid to glance out. What was she afraid of? What was more frightening than this life? What could possibly be out this window? What could possibly come inside?

Waiting once again, before turning forward and unlocking the window, letting the cold air hit inside and it finally let her breathe. Though she began taking sharp intakes as the shadow transformed and fear gripped her. Her fingers curled and she found that she couldn't take many steps as she immediately bumped slightly on the door; her voice in her throat, her voice struggling. What was she seeing now?

What had she done?

_"Bella.."_

What?

_"Bella.."_

The eerie voice whispered and at that same time, she felt tiny claws on her throat, closing in, closing over. What did she let in? What was going on?

"Who-Who are y-you?" Her voice quivered but nodding in strength despite the struggles going on; despite the fact that she was slowly suffocating. "And why were y-you outside my window?" She demanded now in a quite tone, choking lightly; her hands scrambling to undo whatever was covering her, but she deemed it impossible but not wanting to die, she tried to ripping at something invisible and possibly out of her reach.

What _was_ going on?!

_"Because..I smelled you..Because I wanted you.."_

"Wanted me for what?!"

She figured that speaking was going to save her life and so she kept at it, hoping that this vague creature or vague thing would keep answering her back.

"What did you want me for?!"

_"Because Bella.."_

"Because WHY?!"

_"Because I want to taste you.."_

Taste her?

Nothing was going to eat her or even taste her..she was sure not to let that happen and with some remaining force, she kicked into the air and in that moment, she fell hard and her mouth sputtered for air.

Was it gone?

Was it gone?

_"Because.."_

Then the voice got all quiet and her room felt lighter and the breeze shot right in filling up the empty space. What was that..? What was that..? Was that part of the world? Part of outside?

And maybe it was too much to ask for a clichéd existence, maybe it wasn't worth it after all. Maybe she could even say it was a vivid night terror and leave it at that, but wasn't she awake?

Wasn't she..?

Wasn't she unsure?

Wasn't she ready or not?

Surely something evil laid out there beyond her window, surely..she wasn't going to face it today? Or ever?

Would she ever know?

And with that, she stood up and glanced at that same window, shutting it and returning to her bed.

A dream, she could believe in and could explain so much..

A dream..


	6. Wanted Life

What had she seen? What had she heard? It wasn't inaudible, but rather loud and controlling and it knew her. But how? How could the outside world know her? How could her window be a gateway to outside?

What should she do now?

Was there anything that she could do? Any ways to get rid of this shock..this fear? Or was she meant to follow outside and find out why? Did she mean to do that now? Did she have time to do it? Just leave and find out?

By her door, the steps had stopped and no longer did she believe her dad to be there..he had in fact given up and that relieved her. This time, there wasn't going to be any guilt, this time she had no reason to believe anymore than she should. And with that, and slinging her coat on, she left with the window open behind her.

But she'd be back this time, and didn't have plans to stay outside forever. Outside wasn't particularly inviting and neither was this time around. So dark, but less so she could see her hand and quickly her feet took her away. Quickly she continued on. Quickly into the dark streets and pass the dark houses. Inside her, her heart overworked and still she pushed till the ache became too much and she slowed but even so..she knew she couldn't be alone. It couldn't be that simple. Life didn't work like that..she at least thought.

It wouldn't be right but still it was better to confront this unknown threat then to allow it to keep coming back; so it wouldn't call for her again. But how could she find something that was unknown? Where could she look? Where could she find it?

Surely she could scream out and ask for it again, but it didn't mean that it would come again. It didn't mean it should be where she was. But still..the way it called out for her…the way it sounded like longing..

And she didn't understand it.

It wasn't meant to be understood.

Who would long for her?

Who would want her?

Would she like the answer to that?

Would there be any answer?

Would there by any chance for an answer?

Now could she be alone? Could she do it alone?

Cupping her hand over her mouth, but glancing around before making a sound, before thinking it was stupid and dropping her hands. She wasn't alone.

She couldn't be here.

She couldn't be alone. It was impossible.

Whatever was outside was still here…and still in this unknown outside.

"I'm here! I'm here! Come and get me!" She screamed into the dead night, hoping ..hoping to confront this threat; hoping to get rid of it now. So there weren't any more callings, or any more longings. So it would make it easier for her to step out on her own, so much easier than being so frightened like this.

Then after a bit nothing occurred and she just stood with shaky knees, threatening to force her back down, forcing to fail. What could she do? What could she force out of herself?

Hadn't she done enough?

"Did you hear me?! I'm here! You want me! You want me so come here and get me!"

A second time but still nothing..

Nothing at all.

Maybe she could just go home and forget about it? Maybe she could just forget that it ever happened? How could she casually mark it off an imagination and pretend when she had been gasping? Been so terrified? She certainly didn't imagine any of that..she couldn't just forge feelings so complex like that..

Couldn't fake any of that.

It was real.

It was too real, too genuine.

So it couldn't be dismissed from her mind. It couldn't be forgotten.

"YOU HEAR ME?! I AM RIGHT HERE!"

Louder still.

Maybe she'd wake up the whole neighborhood.

Maybe something could be done..

Maybe she was too late..?

Maybe nothing was going to happen now? Maybe she hesitated? It wouldn't be the first time either and each time she regretted not doing anything. She regretted and wished she could of placed more urgency on what she meant to do; instead of just standing around like an idiot. That she was. That she definitely was.

But it was cold..this still night and there was nothing to be done except cling closer to her coat and hope for the best. Hope that she didn't have to stay out too much longer, for this world was too strange, too unknown. Too sad in a way. If something unknown was still here, it didn't come despite her pleading. Despite her wishing, despite everything.

Nothing could be done now and she knew it. She knew it with all her heart. All of herself. And that became part of her life right there. It was her life and she knew it too. Knew that its collapse was her fault and that her lack of action made it die then and now she was just a shell living. Breathing, but not fully alive, and she deserved it. She deserved to be somewhat miserable in her endeavors and never get it right either. It wouldn't be right. It wouldn't no matter how much she tried to fix it. No matter how it was to be. It was just so still like this night. So cold like incoming snow.

So frozen..was there anything to fix it now? Right now?

Probably nothing.

Probably nothing.

She fell onto her knees and hugged them against the wet pavement; hoping beyond hope. Then she asked herself, "why?" Why indeed, but the answer was clearer. Because she had to.

Because she had to know.

Because it was worth finding out.

Worth something..

And as she rose up, a odd feeling knocked her down, and then her hands reached for her throat. Gasping once again, she knew that she had gotten the mysterious presence back. It had come back like she called for it. She was merely doing the same. Maybe it was worth something. Maybe it meant something.

Maybe..

Maybe.

"THIS IS WHAT I **WANT**!"

Had she gone insane? She thought so but it seemed the only way to understand what was stalking, what was doing this, what was calling and longing for her. Who could ever..? Who could ever long for such a plain unhappy girl like her? This is what she wanted but still, it hurt so bad..why did it have to hurt..?

It hurt.

It hurt more than anything then she thought, but it felt satisfying at least. How could that be? She didn't quite know. It couldn't have been so…but she did bring this to herself. She did want this. Shutting her eyes, she felt much lighter. Lighter than a cloud.

Lighter than the wind.

The cold wind.


	7. Maybe

"Bella.."

Who called..? Who wanted her..? Who was it? Did she expect it to be anyone? Anyone at all? Who could it be? Not someone she knew..not someone she knew at all. So what then?

"Bella.."

Bella what? Bella what? What?

Then her body tingled as she felt cold lips pressing, but it wasn't forced but so gentle and calm. And instead of questioning it, she accepted; the longing in her heart beating faster and faster. Faster and faster making her dizzy and lightheaded. Now where did this come from? Was she hiding so much from herself..or did she know it all along? She never could find a straight answer for she felt compelled to press back thus making it all so much complicated. How did that happen? What had she done? Why didn't she resist?

Why did she..? What was wrong with her? But she got satisfaction and another weird feeling..one she couldn't pin down. One that she never once believed in, never could count on or ever felt. So why was she feeling this way? Was there anything she missed? Anything at all?

"Bella..you are here..with me.."

Here….where? What was this person talking about? What did it mean? What did any of this mean? Was she still out in the streets in the dark? Was she still there? She couldn't tell if her eyes were open or not; but she could definitely feel the strong presence and embrace; and again those lips fell; and she gasped slightly still so unprepared and still nervous. Why this feeling..? Why any of this?

Did she really have any reason to be feeling this way? Did she even know? And yet she could trust this person; trust them with her life, and still it was so hard to explain that she even felt too baffled by it. The feelings connected and interconnected with something deeper going on; crisscrossing all the way around her small heart. And she couldn't rip it away, for it seemed to complete her better than anything, and still..it made no sense; any real sense. What was it and what did it truly mean to her? Maybe she'd never know, maybe she'd have to find out herself but whatever it meant..she didn't want to let it go. She didn't want it to go and be left in the dark once again. She wanted that light, she wanted that feeling to remain…she didn't want to return to her life again; so plain and boring and yet she found the right amount of excitement and contentment and..maybe..even happiness.

Maybe..?

And then she began pleading so softly, "please don't leave. Please don't leave.." but she knew she'd return regardless and be stuck again, but maybe it didn't have to be that way. Maybe she could find this feeling again; maybe it wasn't wasted but a taste of something hiding, something that she longed to have more than anything. Maybe it could awaken more of her..maybe..so if she did have to go back, then she wouldn't stop until she found what really made her so happy. What really lightened up the dark spaces of her heart?

There had to be just one thing and this was it; but she never would stop until she had it. Never stop until the light came through.

Whatever feeling it could be. Whatever it could be. She wouldn't stop, wouldn't stop breathing until the day she embraced it. It was something she couldn't live without.

And with it, she could live again.

With it, she could find hope in her life once more and not be so afraid of change or the world. Maybe. Who knew? She certainly didn't and so the risk was on. The risk to know this feeling again.

"Bella.."

Yes; someone that longed for her. Someone that wanted her and gave her these feelings. How could she forget? How could it go unnoticed?

And slowly, the world around her head, stopped spinning and for a moment, she rested alone; aware that she was floating somewhere in dreams, somewhere between clouds.

Somewhere.

Moments later, she woke in her bed; sheets drawn around and her staring out into the darkness. The pitch darkness, clutching on the air. Clutching on nothing but her own heart.


	8. Moved

Bella wanted to believe it had been a new glorious day but frankly she was just as confused and even more alone. More alone? How did that happen? How could she get like that in just one day? And her head whizzed with vivid dreams that didn't make sense nor the remnants of feelings. Feelings. Now why did it happen like this to her?

Was there any real cause or did she just..reach for something not there and hoped to have it? What was the point of that? And as she dressed, in nice jeans and pink shirt and put on her converses; she hadn't gotten out of her daze. it continued on even after she said good morning and by passing her dumbstruck father. His face a fading memory; and still she didn't seem to wanna believe or wanna wake up from this dream. A dream?

Did she consider her real life a dream and her dreams her reality? Maybe.  
Maybe..

She hardly minded the shoving of other students and the long hours of the day , the assignments nor teachers' droning on with the new lesson. She just did it all in a haze and walked around like this up until the school day ended. But she stood out on the pavement, watching the other students leave and still she stayed, as if waiting.

Waiting to see if anything changed.

To her, it didn't but she had better hope it could.

Better hope than the other day, than the day before that.

She just had this sense it could, and yet with this loneliness it only engaged her mind more. Made it better possible to fix everything. How could that be? And was that even logical to think something so impossible like that? Was anything possible now? Was anything?

She just didn't really know but she did know that she had to find that impossibility and strike it down; for she had been felt something quite different. Something entirely different. Something beyond her scope and it just made life a little bit better.

A little bit bearable. Was that even possible for her? The girl that feared change and disappointment?

"HEY!"

Now who could it be?

She spun around and was met squarely with a odd looking girl with the wildest kind of hair, a bit short and spiky at the ends; but strangely the girl smiled. Bella tried to move a bit back but the girl caught her arm, still smiling so profusely. What could this girl be on about? "I don't think I know you.." Bella started aware of the grip and the fact that too many people were disappearing so it seemed to be only themselves. And if not, not many students even bothered caring.

"You don't but I know you."

"Again..I don't think I know you...but I'm new. I really doubt that you know me."

"I do, just trust me. Now we have to talk about a few things.."

"What things?"

Bella thought this girl strange but again she was compelled to maybe at least listen and find out what was going on. At least try to understand this girl. At least understand why...why this girl claimed to know her..Why when Bella hadn't even made friends yet.

"Do you mind coming over to my house? Oh-I forgot myself- I am Alice Cullen. And you are Bella correct?"

Alice Cullen..?

Never heard of her.

"I am. You wanna be my friend or something..?"

"Of course I DO! That would be..great.." Alice exclaimed clapping her hands and then reassuring her grip and pulling Bella a bit sideways. Now seriously..it was starting to get a bit creepy and just ..well..weird..How did this girl know her? At least know her name?

The only explanation would be that this girl had a class with her and probably heard Bella's name during roll call or something; but that was the only way. The only way granted. But that was the only way. The only way..But still this girl..Alice..ahem..seemed interesting a bit and she realized she couldn't just say no. Or at least be rude about it, but she felt that she must regardless.

"Actually Alice..I have to go home..I would like to go..but..I can't, so I am sorry."

Bella slipped out and quickly began walking the opposite way; hoping that she had gotten rid of that girl and maybe could go home in peace.

The last thing she needed was dealing with other people; mainly friends or whatnot. They were nothing but trouble for her at the moment. She didn't want them or need them. She preferred to be alone and if Alice understood that, then all would be well.

In all truth, she was freaked out by this girl and what she knew. It wasn't something that you'd say to a normal person..but by judging on appearances she didn't believe that Alice could be normal. Maybe too weird or even..sinister perhaps; so that could be why she didn't want to go to a unknown person's house let alone Alice's. So Bella wanted to forget this and go on with her life.

"Hey **BELLA**! Come on!"

Alice shouted as Bella was walking on the crosswalk, on the way to the student parking lot; but in that moment, she paused shifting her shoulders. Would she regret it? Would she feel sorry for it? Would she even forgive herself?

Probably not, but Alice seemed incredibility desperate and in a way, Bella started feeling sorry for her. What the hell was wrong with her?

Couldn't she just ignore Alice..but no..she felt nagging at her stomach and with much cursing underneath her breath; she started walking back. This change of direction made Alice jump up excitedly as if she won the jackpot of a million dollars or was getting a make-over. Either way, it grated on Bella's nerves but she slowly tried smiling as she got closer.

"I knew you'd change your mind..Now..my father is going to pick me, but we have to wait for my brother Edward. I have no idea where he is at..I'll just call him. Can you wait a second dear?"

What other choice?

"Sure."

"Good." Alice whipped out her cellphone and began dialing as quickly as possible; and as that was happening Bella really noticed that they were really alone except for the maundering teachers and security guards. But the question came up in her mind. Why in the hell did she decide to come back? Why was she even agreeing to coming with this girl? Was she insane? Apparently more than she realized.

She glanced up at a pivotal moment and fell back in repulsive.

It was **HIM**!

That stupid boy..that really stupid boy..and she shook when she realized Alice waving to him. WHAT THE HELL?! What kind of luck was she having here?! Now she couldn't stay or else she'd kill someone and that couldn't be good. How could she explain to her father why she wounded up in jail or even prison? For attempted murder? Or even murder?! because at this moment, she felt those tendencies tingling and the urge was strong enough; the restraint was all gone..but she gritted her teeth and tried to block out his face with a better image, a much better one. But it didn't work because he opened his big mouth and she nearly slapped hiim.

"Oh Alice..you brought the stupid girl huh?"

" **WHY YOU**!-!"

Now why did he have to start with these insults already? Didn't he know already that he wouldn't win? That she would possibly murder him..maybe he would be lucky if she'd go real fast and he wouldn't feel a thing; but if she felt particularly evil, it could be slow and perhaps even tortuous.

"you say that again to my face, you STUPID BOY!" She spat almost rubbing elbows with the boy. He didn't back down either; just grinning like an idiot. Maybe he didn't understand too well-maybe he didn't speak english that well. Maybe she had to spell it out to him. Maybe something would have to be done..but in either way, she wouldn't go with Alice-at least not with this boy here.

She wasn't going to go. Not at all.

And for a minute, she struggled deeply and Alice flung right in the middle literally and nature now being revealed..so peaceful and dull. "Wait a moment you two...Edward, this is my friend Bella..please treat her with some respect or keep your mouth shut. I know how you like to insigate a lot..so I'm telling you now..and Bella..don't take too much offense..Edward is..kind of..well he kind of has anger problems nor does he have much manners sometimes. I'm ashamed to say, but please you two; try and get along! Please!"

She spoke to both of them and then finally together; and from her face, she meant it. It had a hint of subtle anger and frustration bedded in those cheeks and eyes. And slowly it seemed like the ongoing situation had been diffused for now..anyhow.

At least for now..At least..

"Now, we are going home and Bella is coming with us. It is time for a chat I think and I want her to be comfortable as possible there; and Edward if i hear one word out of you-"

Now here she was threatening him and he listened with some gravity till he finally gave space. Till Bella could finally relax. But she must of been crazy to accept this. Must of been out of her mind to actually go with Alice and Edward..but yet it felt a bit right in some way...But all she could hear was Alice's voice raising above the clouds and even far into space. How was that? How was that?

And as she was greeted politely climbing in the car by the father; she couldn't help thinking why she had decided to give this a chance. She couldn't help thinking why she wanted to do this. Or why it could mean something to have friends.

But Alice was her friend..her first friend..since moving to Forks, Washington and that meant a lot.

 


	9. Promise Me

Bella screamed and screamed, scrambling against the car door; desperately banging and making faces out the window, while fidgeting with the handle. It had to open. It had to open..

_It had too.._

_It just had too!_

There couldn't be child lock on it…there couldn't be- But her grip was slippery and whatever progress that could be made, wasn't going forward. It wasn't working. It wasn't and there was no need to pretend either; pretend that escape could be possible..that this wasn't a dream or a waking nightmare that she could somehow fall out of. Somehow wake up..

But Alice and Edward remained quiet and pensive; perhaps waiting for Bella to calm, but there wasn't going to be any chance with it. How could she be okay with vampires around? Wouldn't they try and suck her blood or something..? Would they kill her?

"Bella..calm down.." Alice advised leaning in and Bella swatted her away." **D-Don't-! D-D-Don't TOUCH ME! GET A-AWAY FROM ME!"** And by this time, breathless and panting heavily while feeling the effects of lightheadedness getting at her, the situation seemed impossible. Seemed utterly impossible to escape from. Either way, she was at the mercy of vampires and what she knew about them..they were vicious bloodsuckers. Vicious monsters. Vicious killers. But if they were really what Alice said, then how could they get into the sun?

How could they not burn in the sun?

 **"LET ME OUT NOW! LET ME OUT!"** More wailing then a vicious kick as Edward came down on her. He doubled over, grunting and apparently stunned for a moment. What hope did she have? What hope was there to be found? What a friend Alice turned out to be….

A vampire.

_Awesome._

She made a stance, thus threatening anymore advances from either Edward or Alice; she was prepared to kick some butt and make them regret messing with her. She held her clenched fist out. "You better stay away from me if you know what is good for you-"

"I understand how this may feel-"  
" **YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA!"**

"Alice, just _shut_ her up.." Edward sneered recoiling upward; the pain gone from his face. He meant in all seriousness too, but Alice dismissed it, having a calmer head. "I understand how you must feel Bella..but I feel I must tell you that you are meant to-"

"Don't start that!"

"Bella, LISTEN!"

"Why should I? Aren't you going to kill me? That is what you do, huh? Lure people over to your house and kill them? Rip their bodies to shred? But I'm not going down without a fight and I bet my life, you won't forget it." Bella shrilly exclaimed with much bravery in her, and much strength. The thoughts flowing in her were extremely repulsive. Extremely and almost to the point that she thought she would be throwing up everything, but she held it in. Somehow she had to hold something in, if it wasn't her feelings and fright.

"That is not true..there is a reason why.."

"What reason?" Bella snapped back.

"The reason…the future of yourself.."

The future? Now was Alice claiming to see into the future or something? Were they vampires or freaks? Vampires or…? Bella couldn't tell her, but none of this made sense, but did it really have to? Was her life meant to be like this for no reason? Why was she getting all the freaky parts in her life? Couldn't she escape it? Only what she wanted was a normal life, or why did she leave her mother's place? And why would she go to Charlie's? There was a real reason..

A real reason..

What the hell kind of answer was that? Or even..anything..?

"What's going to happen in the future..to me..?"

"That is why I need to speak with you.."

Could she believe Alice? Could she accept that she wasn't going to be eaten and mangled alive? By vampires, mind you?

Was there any chance of believability in this story..or was it a ploy? A devious plot? She couldn't see it, though there wasn't anything logical about this whole thing. It was just completely out there, and just…she didn't know to really react to it. She didn't know how to comprehend it. How did the normal person react to something like this? How did they get along with it?

"Fine..but if you try to kill me…"

"I won't..I promise.."


	10. Falling Falling

A stranger, a complete transformation in a mere moment but every moment meant something; and for Bella it seemed unreal, mistaken and sad. Sad that her life could never be as wonderful as she imagined, that she was living in some sort of nightmare. Nothing what they had to say about the future could persuade her otherwise. Then the thought arises from the back of her mind…

If she had never..

If she never was a difficult child then perhaps she wouldn't of been put to this-she wouldn't have to deal with this situation, but she knew nothing, and as far as she could tell, she didn't want to hear anymore. She would of rather of traded in her ears or worse, let them kill her. No future was worth this hell, this nightmare. But she did try to put on calmness, she did try to be strong, but every moment as she passed streets and people, her heart jumped out and she thought of crawling the window, and screaming. Screaming once again.

Screaming and fighting. Maybe she should die in that way; fighting for her life. Wouldn't that be admirable? But she didn't once let off, she merely stayed huddled in a corner, arms still raised, but they were so tired. So tired, her body kept saying, kept repeating, but there wasn't anything to worry about. Nothing at all. She wouldn't topple over; she wouldn't fall on her face. If a move was made, she was determined.

Probably more so than she realized.

"Bella-"

"She won't listen Alice. Forget it." Edward sneered climbing out of the car, thus leaving a reminder for Bella to grasp. She wouldn't listen. So what _was_ the point of going to all this trouble? "Bella..please.." Alice offered a hand, but it was immediately slapped away.

"Bella.." There was sadness but it was pushed far back, and when it didn't seem nothing would progress, Alice used her force and grabbed Bella by the scruff of her collar. Much kicking and cursing followed. It wasn't easy to bend Bella, but it had to be done, even if the pressure was deplorable and much hated on both sides. Because Alice could see that it hurt Bella, and with some whimper, it probably worsen her mood.

It was like all control was being zapped away in the instance Alice took her, and Bella didn't like any of it…because her whole life was meant to fight this kind of lack of control. She meant to take her life back but it didn't seem it was possible. What did the future have for her? Did she really want to know?

Did she possibly want to find it out? Was it worth this? Did they have any other choice but to listen to this? Even if she considered this bullshit? Even if…?

Even if it didn't make any sense? Then she let the control go, and slowly she was carried away, the car, the only- the only-but words just failed her. They miserably sat at her feet, and yet there wasn't any chance of getting them back. She had to accept the loss and go on. But did she really want to see the future? Surely it couldn't be written in stone? Surely she could change it..right?

But Alice was acting like the future was already pre-determined and nothing can stop it; but could it be so terrible..That it warranted a kidnapping? (She believed it to be that..) That she had to be put into this spot? Was there any justice to anything? Yet she didn't stop noticing that there were others in the house, and they had taken a particular interest in her. What could it be?

What?

Did the faces reveal it?

Slowly Bella sat, but felt restrained to her spot. The faces all blurring and all coming to one point, in front of Alice's face. There the former friend sat, arms folded gently over the arms, and a calmness not expressed since the beginning. Bella attempted to open her mouth but she found nothing inside; where was this speechlessness coming from?

Could she overcome this?

"Bella, there is a reason as to why…we had to get you here.." Alice's voice was soft but intensified by each syllable. What was she trying to express here? What was she meant to say? Did it have any gravity?

"Because I've seen your future-"

Then it came back, the impetus; the impulsive and Bella broke out of the restraints and spoke with a booming voice. "Futures aren't meant to be set in stone-!" Maybe it could be change, maybe it wasn't over now- maybe if they saw it-if Alice saw- it could be fixed, whatever happened.

"Bella, take my hand."

"What?"

"Take my hand, please do it. I rather show you."

Show her..? What..? What was there to trust from Alice? Anything? And yet, she pushed herself to; yet she gripped that outstretched hand. Then sensations fizzed and flew around her, and the ground fell beneath her.

_Blood; Blood; And anguish.._

_What was this? What was she..? Yet she saw herself..saw herself surrounded by flashes of light; flashes of feelings. Too many and they were permeating everywhere. Who did they belong to? Who did they belong to? And where were they going to? Anything?_

_Then screams. Someone was screaming but she couldn't tell. But she couldn't see but she experienced it all. Experienced the dying..experienced the headache. What..or where was it coming from? Was she meant to see this..or even…? What words did she have left?_

_What words?_

_What words? What feelings..?_

_Was there no escape?_

_And then falling..falling all around, and gasps for air; gasps for life. There was no more light..no more light and only darkness. Only…death.._

And when it ended, Bella stared at every face, focusing back; focusing her heart over and realizing it was the worst kind of future. The worst kind of predicament; the worst future and was there any changing it?

What did she have to? Anything?

Anything?

Yet even if it wasn't clear, she'd have to make it so whatever she felt, wouldn't come true. She had to make it happen. But could she?


	11. A Future That is Ours

Bella flexed her eyes open and then tried to fit them around Alice, seeking some sort of answer, seeking some kind of answer to anything. What did Bella see? What kind of future was that?! And could it be prevented? Was it possible for anything at all? Yet those feelings stillinvaded her mind and sent more shivers down her. What did those feelings mean? What did those visions mean?

"Is that my future-?"

"It is Bella. I saw it at once and i was scared..but I see something usually so different..what did you see?"

A future that changed? A future not yet set in stone? Was there any such thing? Was there anything Bella could do? But the visions just made her dizzy and even more disoriented. But what did Alice mean by that..? A future so different? "A-Alice..how do I..?"

"That is the tricky part, isn't it?"

Alice smirked if only a moment and then became solemn yet again. Now what was Alice hiding herself? Besides being a vampire and whatnot..? There had to be more that Bella didn't pick up..yet she wasn't sure if she could deal with any more surprises herself. Still she had remind herself that she was in a home filled with hungry(maybe) vampires and that any false moves could spell tragedy..and death..But how could Bella avoid this future? How could she when she didn't know where any day would lead her? Where any day led to?

"Alice..what can i do...? What can i do this avoid this..? I don't know.."

"You have to figure that out on your own. You will know when the future is coming.."

"What? What?"

"You heard me Bella. If you didn't figure it out, we are vampires all with special abilities. You already know mine.."

Yes, Bella did. She already knew..how could she forget a feeling so terrible like that?! How could a simple feeling warn her anyhow? Seemed too impossible in a way..impossible in every sense of the word. "But i don't know why you chose me..of all people..i'm sure other people have other worse futures than was i chosen?" Maybe it was part of some destiny or some sort of something that Bella couldn't quite figure out. That she couldn't seem to fully realize. Or maybe it was dumb luck. "You weren't chosen Bella. I just felt like your future tied to ours."

"Yours how?"

"Bella, Bella. Bella.." Alice shook her head and then took Edward's hand, thrusting them over her breasts mindlessly. "That is what i saw Bella. I saw a future that is greater than yourself.."

"A bad future you mean..?"

"I did..and i had to prevent it by all costs.."

And now the answers were done..for Bella knew she couldn't ask anymore than permitted. Alice didn't feel like sharing. But still too many things lingered on, like how Bella's own future tied with these it could be together without knowing..? Without real understanding? Even if she hadn't been given anything to start with, or even begin with except for the nasty

feelings. Even if she didn't exactly know what kind of future could be waiting..even if it seemed even more frightening than being with a horde of vampires. Because it seemed like she had a kind of tragic future that was meant to be played out. But how could her future be tied to vampires? How could..? Would she even understand anything? now why did she get mixed up into all of this?

why couldn't..?

why couldn't she stay out and be some what normal? Was that too hard to ask for..? Or..

but even so with a kind of future like that..what was she to do with this knowledge? Stop it? Let it go through? What could she possibly do now? What could she..?

"How can i do that..Alice? How i can i prevent it..?"

Was there any way to? Any real way to? Or would there be guessing? If she didn't know what the feelings meant or even the vision..how could she go around this future? Was there anything to be done? Now, she knew she couldn't do anything..she never could especially on her own. She'd run away from it all than face it, so how would this be any different from the other times? She couldn't get away from it..but she could..she'd just have to leave again. Nothing was worth dealing with vampires and futures that could kill her.

"That..I don't know.."

"Bella-"

"Then why am i standing here?!" Bella shouted holding back her heaving chest; forcing every ounce of strenth to leave and make her limp; almost crashing further down in herself. How far could she go anyhow? How far did she wanna go?

"I have to stop this..I have to anyway I can.."

Then she trailed her eyes upward. "Or is that too simple? Can i do that?"

Alice pursed her lips then broke them. "Yes you can. Nothing is set in stone Bella. I should know. My future is not what i seen..it became something different."

"Something different? Then mine can be too?"

"Yes. Yes. It can be."

How different? Completely change the course of it? Completely flip it around and do something more with it? Did Bella have that kind of power or even confidence in herself? Was it possible to keep believing in such improbability? Could she remain focused? Could she trust her ownself? "Then i wanna change it Alice. i don't want to end up like that..I don't wanna feel like that..anymore.."

"Then there is much to do about it Bella. And i believe it starts now..so if you don't mind..you should be quite careful.."

Starts now? Starts at this exact time? More questions were starting to be answered but many more were left shut and left quiet by themselves; that Bella wondered too much. That she couldn't piece together without help. "If it starts now..then i wanna make sure that it doesn't happen any time soon.."

"I bet you do..yet i think we should move from there Bella. I think i should introduce my other brothers and sisters."

And for a moment, she remembered it wasn't just her, Alice or Edward but other vampires huddling around. More prim faces, and more unknowns than they seemed to give her some respect and some other emotion; some other that Bella wasn't sure of. And slowly, she was introduced to the rest of the vampires and began remembering their names. But the future still loomed in her eyes, still took over more than she wanted.

A future drifting out to touch her gently. A future that was hers alone.


	12. Come With Us

"Don't try and scare her too much.."

"I'm not.." Alice interjected harshly, eying the father whom Bella knew now as Carlisle, or under such a cover that wasn't hard to miss, but he certainly looked the part with his shined and greased back hair and decor pinstripe suit. Seemed so unreal..but of course he had that kind of thing that was unnatural in humans..so thus he could of been given away..but just wasn't ...the act was convincing. So was the others'. Is that how they lived? How the passed off for humans? How they fooled so many people..? But so far away...but this close, she could just see so much that wasn't real, so fake.

"If I have to stop this future in some kind of way...and if it really does tie to yours..as a family..maybe I should ask about-" the words got distorted and Alice kindly picked and dusted it off. "Not a problem Bella. I believe that you should know.." She gave up meaningful glances to Carlisle, but the expression wasn't ever-changing, just completely stoic. Apparently it was a thumbs up, apparently it was all right. Apparently..so..

After all he was the figurehead, the father of this family and since it was right..

"We're vampires..you know that part and we have special powers.."

Bella gave a nod of understanding, a signal to go on. At least the only way she could manage..though it wouldn't ever make total sense but what part of this did anyhow? Yet, she couldn't get the feelings out of her hands..they trembled and she wanted to grab anything but so much was out of her. Could the future be so accessible? What did Alice really see? Or did it change too? But she tried to relax among the smiling vampires... _vampires.._ great. At least tried to anyhow before giving slowly away the discomfort. Her fingers playing around in her lank hair. The sign of tenseness. "And we have-"

"Does your family have the same kind of pow-?"

" _We're_ a clan Bella..A clan." One of the muscular vampire piped up, before being poked in the rib and shyly averting his eyes off. But it was heard with some frequency and with some clarity. A clan? Almost like a family? Maybe Clan was a family type?

"No we don't. We all have different powers.." Alice cut back in, lifting Edward's arm off her. "Like I have the power to see into the future and Edward here can run quite fast..and that man right there is Jasper and he has the power to manipulate emotions and play them to his advantage." She pointed crookedly to the scrawny looking vampire hanging off the wall, a way from everyone. His frizzy dyed blond hair carefully sticking up along with a cautious approach ringing on his mouth.

" _Hello_.." He whispered back, making a similar effort to wave.

And Bella merely cracked up an expression unsure of it all. So vampires were like superheroes now?

"And that one-Emmett has great strength.."

That _ **muscular vampire..**_

But what of the other vampires? What of the women standing around so quietly? Their arms linked with the men and were studying Bella quite intently. Maybe a human never got this far..maybe Bella had been lucky..but apparently she couldn't be that lucky..She couldn't be if the future did hold something quite gruesome. Still it couldn't be shaken..not that future that kept popping to her mind. Not the future and what she'd be dealing with in the future. "and that man I introduced as our father is Carlisle..he made us the way we are except Jasper..he was already one. Anyhow,-"

"If he made you this way then why consider him your father? I'd be mad to be a vampire and to hide-"

"We aren't mad. He saved us in our difficult lives..sometimes from the brink of death. He saved us and gave us a new life to live..for that we are grateful. But no matter how different we are..we are a family..the Cullens Bella." But it was not entering Bella's mind as this at all. _Family_? What family had she known? Her mother and her new husband..or Charlie..her dad? What kind of family was that anyhow? But not to be rude, Bella played up a little smile, yet it couldn't be hidden..those feelings inside her.

Was it possible that they'd see in her too? That they'd invade her thoughts and feelings too?

"We won't do that."

"What?" What? Bella blinked trying to figure out the voice speaking to her..but found nothing except the faces of Alice and the other voices, but soon she heard the voice again more sharply. "We won't harm you in anyway."

"How..?"

"Not very hard to read your mind...but your face says it all.." Replied one of the female vampires approaching her. Her face? Was she really that _easy_ to be read? Was her thoughts showing again?

"Esme..don't scare her." Alice said softly.

"I won't..but she must understand that we won't harm her in any way.."

Esme barely swiped her finger on the edge of Bella's cheek before the flinching began. Why did they all wanna get this close to her? And with the added tension building up inside, Bella slowly made the movements up, slowly wanting to leave and forget this ..but how could she forget it all? "Please.." The words were barely out of her mouth before Alice came to the rescue. "Please Esme. We can't scare her too much.."

More moments passed and Bella froze.

"You're right ..as always Alice." Esme sighed dejectedly, already giving more space but still Bella made no more attempts, no more movements onward. Like she was glued in midair, unable to find any spot, any kind of air that suited her. But questions still raged..why were vampires here..?

_Why..?_

_Why..?_

"I'm sorry if I can't explain everything to you Bella. I don't mean to scare you with any of this. Honestly, but it had to be done. It had to be done for the good of everyone here. If our lives weren't so intertwined..." As if apologizing for all of this..As if it never meant to be..

"I am sorry Bella. I'm very sorry and whatever you wanna do..go ahead and do it..whatever helps but I do hope you understand that we're trying to live also the only way we can, though we may not be human anymore...we still have traces of humanity left in us." Traces of it? Was it possible to keep it after it was entirely gone? Was anything now?

How could they know about being human? How could vampires..? "We were human once too." But what should Bella do? How could she readily accept anything? Accept a future she couldn't seem to control nor understand? Why were they asking her to do this? Didn't they understand that she couldn't? She couldn't do anything...that it was impossible and quite sad all the way around.

Didn't she realize?

Didn't they..? Didn't Alice..? Why should she do anything to help them? What if she just distanced herself from them...? What would become of her then? Would her future be changed simple as that? But she found her voice again after a long time deliberating.

"Thank you Alice..but..whatever your reasons are...I-I- don't think I can..." And soon the door hit her back and she greeted outside with some jubilance. The wind stinging her cheeks and brushing off those frozen tears. Why did this have to happen to her? Didn't they realize..? No, they couldn't possibly..maybe if she just stayed away then nothing bad would happen. Then nothing could harm her.

Then her life would be all right and she didn't have to deal with such unbelievable things. Have a normal life without the supernatural coming all in. Without any of this. She didn't need this. It was hard enough to be a teenager growing and going through life than to deal with added baggage..and she didn't sign up for being friends with vampires. Not all when she moved...This wasn't what she wanted.

None of this was.

" **HEY YOU!"**

She barely turned her head and saw a blur pass by; but she didn't have to guess the person..or rather the vampire following. He already made his presence known. "What's your problem? Are you stupid or something? Didn't you hear what Alice said..?"He showed up ahead of her and she nearly fell forward. "I don't have to answer to you. Let me go. I'm going home." She spat viciously but his arm grabbed her wrist and she spent a minute struggling. "Are you really going to go home after _all_ that..?"

"I am. I don't have to deal with you. I don't have to. I can just go back home-"

"You're not."

"Don't tell me what I'm doing and not. You're not my mother nor my father. I can do whatever!" She stomped her feet and carefully wiggled out, rushing ahead. She didn't care if he had super speed or whatever, he wasn't going to be the person..errr..to change her mind at all. Nothing could really..Nothing in this whole world.

It was already made up after the whole _vampire_ thing...why should she stay after that? Why should she listen more than that? "Or else you'll do something to me..like make me a vampire..or suck my blood?" she screamed entering into the thicket. He wasn't going to win over anything with his attitude..He hesitated for a moment and then followed; his steps almost outpacing hers and nearly lying hands upon her back; the soft skin of a human undeniable and unreal..

"I won't do any of those things to you."

"What? You won't..? I thought all vampires did that..?"

"Well we don't.." he mumbled sticking his hands into his pocket, and glancing away. "You silly humans made that all up..and we never put an end to it."

"Then what?" She demanded fiercely upset and standing on an edge. Edge of reason and leaving behind. But she was too afraid to jump off, because if she did..then there was no use of going back to what was real or not. But she couldn't deny Edward or his family. They came out and just told her. They told her everything. They admitted their lives, their lives they pressed unto her fingertips.

"I wanna show you Bella.."

"Show me what..?"

Hastily, the soft human skin came to his contact and he shivered in delight, almost reeling back; but truth overtook him; and he led her further into the thicket. Further from other people and perhaps help if it was needed. Help if it was needed.

"I want you to see it for yourself. We are vampires but we don't want to harm humans..we want to live a normal life..what Alice said was true. We don't wanna forget the last humanity that is still living in us. We wanna keep it. Don't you understand Bella? Your future is with us. Alice didn't tell you..but you'll become one of us."


	13. WInds and Sea

"Me? Me..a vampire?" She hardly formed the words before going back in disbelief. This future already started to look grimmer by the moment and wasn't going to let up-but if anything she knew, nothing was really set in stone but if so, why were they so damn adamant about telling her this?

"Yeah, you heard right-" He growled but she was ready just to run again. Ready to pick up the soles of her feet and move..like before. Starting over wasn't too hard, at least she wanted to convince herself that much. "I-I can't do this. I can't-"

"You can-"

"I can't! I can't even begin to-"

"I'm telling you this because it has to be said. It has to-"

"In order to save the world. Blah Blah Blah.." Bella mocked openly finding some footing as if she seen this cliche over and over again. She already knew what he was purposing and what she meant to say but then she didn't. This was her life and not some fantasy.

It was real life and it couldn't of gotten worse. It just couldn't.

"I'm being serious stupid."

"No, you're stupid. You're stupid for telling me this nonsense. I'm stupid for even thinking the thoughts I am now. I'm stupid for even considering any of this. To me, you guys are a bunch of loonies. That's it."

" _Bella_ -"

"No, don't Bella me!"

He drew a quiet breath but was he really living, so why the need to pretend? She couldn't of seen the difference. It was all too convincing for her but she had to throw it away. There was no use holding onto these silly little things and avoid the other unpleasant facts of life. "Just please leave me alone."

"Bella-"

" _Just please_. I need time to think."

And with that, she knew that she was alone and thus crumpled to the ground below. Hands pleading. Hands waiting for the joke to be over but it never came. It just wouldn't and suddenly she thought of the home she left and the one she came to. Was she missing something? Was she?


End file.
